The Fastest Clock in the Universe review

The Fastest Clock in the Universe is a play by Phillip Ridley, whose work I have developed a recent fondness for. First performed in 1992, the play is revived by director Brittany Rex at the New Wimbledon Theatre's "Studio" space.

As you first enter the theatre there is a kind of grotty, dinginess to the place. The herbal cigarette smoke in the air adds to the atmosphere. That cigarette scent followed me home on my clothes, just as the play's themes lingered with me too. The Fastest Clock in the Universe centres on Cougar Glass, who is obsessed with looking beautiful and staying youthful. Aging is clearly a sore subject for Cougar; he mentally spirals with any reference to his real age. We get the impression he is much older than he looks.

Frederick Russell excels in this lead role as the horrible hypersexual, Cougar, becoming a swinging pendulum of emotions. In the second act, it seems he barely gets a word of dialogue, but the physical acting on display here is great - this silence speaks volumes.

Cougar lives with, and is in a pseudo-relationship with the older Captain Tock (played by Brain Aris). The Captain is ordered around by Cougar, and becomes the facilitator of both his vanity, and his villainy. There is surprisingly quite a sweet chemistry between the two, beneath the strain, and the age gap. The nigh on cute relationship may well be what holds everything together.

Cougar hosts a "19th" birthday party for himself every year, which he takes as an opportunity to seduce (or rather, groom) a much younger individual. On this occasion his new obsession is a 15-year-old boy named Foxtrot Darling (Kim Whatmore). As you can imagine, this is not the most feel good of shows.

The discomfort is compounded by a scene graphicly describing Cougar's first sexual experience at age 12. I expect nothing less from Ridley. There is a particular unease that comes from the level of obsession and eroticism found in Russell's delivery here. It all gives the impression Cougar is turned on by himself and his own youth when recounting the memory. 

There is a new poignance to the play in this post Jeffrey Epstein, post Sean Combs era - where coolness and cults of personality have been taken as a licence to commit the inexcusable. For cougar it is his good looks that get him exactly what, and who, he wants. Aided and abetted by those that surround him. While we may hear frequent stories in the media, there is always a level of emotional distance. The Fastest Clock in the Universe confronts you with disgust and forces you not to look away.

I must admit, the acting is here not always the most convincing from the ensemble. During the first act, there is a humorous lilt to a lot of the lines, but some more work on comic timing, and delivery, would incite more laughter. The performances, and Ridley’s writing, excel during long monologues, where cast members almost become possessed by the words they utter. For some of the cast, however, they need to delve deeper in to that sense of possession. 

In the second act, there is a complete tone shift, with the introduction of Sherbert Gravel (played by Naomi Preston-Law). The rather brilliant Preston-Law brings loads of energy and confidence which seems to bolster the rest of the cast. The real change in energy here makes it feel like a completely different play, but perhaps this is the intention. It is almost hyper comic.

It is interesting how Sherbet and Foxtrot are portrayed as a couple. Sherbet places so much emphasis on “traditional values”, and you wonder if you are supposed to read a certain homophobia into this. As if she is trying to teach Foxtrot all things tradition, with sexuality being no exception. Does she date him with the hopes to turn him straight as a moral imperative? It is revealed Sherbet is pregnant, and this unborn child is constantly referred to as "the future one", which further paints heteronormativity in this off-colour light. 

Later on, we get the crescendo moment: a fight scene. Unfortunately this just feels tacky and fake, everything about it is plain unconvincing. The gun. The slightly ham stage violence. The inevitable bloodshed. None of it works for me. There is such a dissonance that comes from a play that throws itself from simmering concern, into slapstick satire, then into over the top violence. There is no ease of transition, and the whole narrative feels ill-thought-out.

Some motifs I struggle with. I have no idea about the birds, but this must be my ineptitude. The play takes place above a disused fur factory or abattoir? A more minor character, Cheetah Bee (Karen Holley), gives a short monologue about the building. I took from her words this idea of cruelty in the pursuit of beauty. Seemingly a comparison is made between the skinning of animals for a fur coat, and Cougar's miscreance in the pursuit of youthfulness.

There is regular reference to clocks, presumably to represent a fear of the passage of time and aging, but this does not quite land for me either. 

I cannot exactly say I recommend The Fastest Clock in the Universe to a lay audience. This one is more for the Ridley completion-ist. Many of Ridley’s plays are not staged often enough, criminal considering his influence. With this particular play, it has been 13 years since it was last performed. I understand however, as his body of work on the whole has not aged particularly gracefully. 

While The Fastest Clock in the Universe has its merits, I do not get the same sense of unease, nor conceptual coherence that I was drawn to in some of Ridley's other works. But if you are a fan of his writing, you may find it worthwhile to catch this rare revival. ★★★☆☆

Thank you to The Cellar Door Theatre Company for inviting me. Tickets were provided free of charge and I was given full control over the content of the review.